No doubt about it.....this week was a rough week for me. My running week goes from Monday to Sunday. This way I have two weekend days to ensure I get all my runs in.
Monday may 23rd.
Today was supposed to be one of my cross training days. I was going to ride bike. Well, I don't have a bike, and when I went to get on my husbands I noticed it had a flat tire. It was also raining, and I just could not face going out in the rain. My shin still hurts quite a bit, but I'm not limping....so that is good. Needless to say I didn't make it out the door to ride bike, so I told myself I would do tae-bo later in the day for my cross training.....yeah that didn't happen either. So I went to bed tonight feeling frustrated and discouraged. Injuries are hard on me, they completely take the wind out of my sails. I just know tomorrow will be a better day.
Tuesday May 24th
The alarm goes off at 5:50 am, and I shut it off. I woke up an hour later and rushed to get the kids up/ready lunches made, breakfast fed, and out the door to the bus. I knew I had to run this evening. With my last weekend off due to the shin injury and missing yesterday, I had three days in a row off. NOT good. So I prayed that I would find a way to get myself to go to the track. I was emailing a friend back and forth, and asked her to meet me at the track. She said she would. That is so good for me. I will go if someone is counting on me....but to just go by myself with the way I am feeling, well it is hard. So anyway, I met my friend at the track at 515pm and did my run. I felt pretty good as far as my breathing, but my shin was quite sore. I did run through the pain, and got my full twenty minutes in. I am always amazed at the people God puts in my life....just when I need them. My friend Jill is the ultimate cheerleader. She kept telling me how good I was doing and that I was making such great progress, and I really need to hear that, because I tend to beat myself up at times. I think I should be doing more, or be faster than where I am. I shouldn't be injured, I should have never let myself get this out of shape. I should just suck it up and deal with it. I don't usually give myself the credit for just being out there and running. I am my worst critic, I always have been. Jill was telling me, how I inspired her. I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around that, because I feel that I should be so much further than I am. God knows me well, and he seems to send the right friend or person that I need to put things back in perspective for me. So today I thank God for all his love and mercy he shows me daily, and I thank Jill for being his arms and feet for me today.
Yes today was weigh in day, and I didn't lose any weight. I will be honest, I haven't been eating as healthy. I am also stressed, and when I am stressed my body holds onto weight for dear life. Oh well, at least I'm still running!
Wednesday May 25th.
I actually got up out of bed today!!! YAY! that is a huge victory for me after the last few days. I went to the track and had an okay run . Yes my shin is still giving me grief, but I was able to run with it. I lifted up my prayers for my dad today. He is facing some pretty scary health issues, and I have been talking with him daily. It is hard to live hours away from your family sometimes. I'm a doer. I like to be there, go to appointments, talk with the doctors, and walk with my dad, but now that I live far away, I can't. I talk to him on the phone, and talk with some of the doctors on the phone. My sister and I talk a lot, because she is the one doing all the running with him, but I still feel helpless. When I've spent the majority of my life being a helper, and to know that there is nothing I can do is frustrating. Then I realized I was doing something, I was praying, and I was putting my father's health in my God's Hands. That is more than I could do if I was there with him. Whatever the outcome of my dad's physical health. I can help his spiritual health, by praying for him and with him. So I keep pushing forward in my running and in my pain, and I lift it all up for a bigger purpose than myself. It is in some ways like finding a freedom I've never known. The pain (physical and emotional) is still there, but when you lift it up in prayer for a greater cause, there is also peace.
Thursday May 26th
Today was supposed to be a cross training day, and it didn't happen.
Friday May 27th
I got up this morning, and made it to the track. I was having a pretty good run. Yes my shin still hurt, but not to the point of slowing my run. As I was finishing my prayers towards the end of my run, I see my hubby hooting and hollering at me as he came down to the track. He joined me on my last lap. He first tells me that I am looking a lot stronger from the last time we ran together which was about three weeks ago. Then he kinda fell behind me, and promptly informed me that I have a "form" problem. My running form is apparently not right. He says I kick my right foot way out to the side. I know this, I have always ran like this. I used to get teased about it in high school. Of course in high school, I would just go out and beat the people teasing me, and then I would say "I may run funny....but I can still beat you." and then I would give them a playful smile. Well needless to say, I can't beat anyone right now, and poor form could be contributing to my issues with my shin. So I am going to try to not kick my leg out when I run. How do you change something that you've done for 36 years? (yes I've been running since I was 9 months old)
I finished my last lap, and told Steve I would see him later. All the while trying to visualize how I was going to accomplish this great task of changing my form. Lord help me!
Sat May 28th
I didn't get out today either. Yes I am struggling this week.
Sunday May 29th
I did get out to the track this afternoon. My legs felt like lead. They were really heavy. I was also concentrating really hard on not kicking my foot out to the side. I did pretty good. I have noticed when I am tired it is harder to control. As I was running, about 15 minutes in my right hip just completely cramped up on me. I think I was trying so hard to use proper form and somehow that affected my hip. I had to stop running and walk for the last 5 minutes. I was feeling disappointed in myself because I only got four days in this week. However, I made myself take a step back and realize that I actually got out and ran 4 days this week. That is a big accomplishment. We have been really busy, and I have been under a great deal of stress. I know even a few months ago, I wouldn't have got out at all. So yes, it was not my best week, but in some ways it was a great victory for me, because despite everything going on, I got four days in. I'm not going to beat myself up on this one. I just need to try harder next week.