Friday May 6th.... I took today off.
Sat May 7th.
I got up at 7am today and did my run in the morning. I am attending a Life in the spirit Seminar at Church today, I started the retreat last evening. If anyone has ever gone on retreat you know they are wonderful, yet exhausting! I also stayed late on Friday to pray with a couple of friends. I didn't feel like driving to the track today, so I ran in our neighborhood. Where I live it is extremely hilly. Not really a flat route that I can run, but I walked for five minutes, and then started on my 20 minute jog. My shins actually were not to bad. The run went smoothly for the most part. I started my prayers and away I went. I as a woman and a mother, am the queen of multitasking. I know most women can relate. You learn how to juggle about 10 things at once. The down side to this as that soon even when all is quite, I am still multitasking in my mind! I'm usually thinking about 10 things at once. This makes it harder for me to concentrate, and fully enter into my prayers, so I have started praying out loud as I run. This helps me to focus more completely on my prayers. I will say this has caused me to get a few strange looks! Here I am jogging(extremely slow) panting like I'm dying, and praying! Our Father......deep winded breath.....who art in heaven.......even deeper winded breath. I think you get the idea! Oh well! At least I am getting my prayers in! As hard as it is sometimes for me to get out and go for a run.....I am beginning to find it extremely therapeutic!
and the journey continues......
Sunday May 8th. (mothers day)
I was woken up this morning by the smoke alarm. As I peer out my bedroom door looking frantic, my husband and three oldest children inform me.....its all good, everything is okay, go back to bed. I obeyed knowing that they were trying to cook me breakfast in bed. Apparently my 6 year old (Sam) put toast in the toaster, and cranked the toaster to as high as it would go, thus burning the toast to all smithereens! After breakfast I embarked on a scavenger hunt for my mothers day present. We rushed to church, and then the committee (Hear our Voices) that I started was handing out roses as a way to honor all mothers, and accepted a free will donation for raising funds! The day went quickly, and by time I got my grocery lists and meal plans for the week made. It was almost 3 o'clock. Steve had left for his long run, and it had begun to downpour, so I went to look for him. Long story short, by time I got grocery's it was 5pm. I was going to go for my longer run, but decided to take the day off. I had gotten 5 days in already, and felt that my shins could use the rest.
Monday May 9th
I decided to start running in the mornings this week. It was just getting to hard to squeeze it all in the evenings. For as much as I love food, I also love my bed! I HATE getting up in the mornings to go for a run. I have found however, that when I make myself do it, I have more energy throughout the day, and I'm happier during the day. Exercise is truly good for my soul. I don't like it, but when I do it, I feel so good. I managed to only hit the snooze once, and then was able to roll out of bed. My shins felt great this morning. They didn't hurt me at all my entire run. I chose to run in the neighborhood for the sake of time. I had to be home by 650am to get the kids up, lunches made, kids ready, breakfast eaten, and off to the bus stop by 730am. Mornings are always CRAZY! My 11 yr old (Brianna) and my 6 year old (Sam) love to take about 15 minutes just to stretch and wake up. My 7 yr old (Mary) thankfully usually jumps right up and starts getting ready. I also have a new baby starting at the daycare today. Anytime a new child starts, the first three weeks to a month, can be challenging. I was so glad to have my run done after work today, because I was just exhausted. Plus I had a business proposal/dinner with a friend tonight, so I would not have been able to run anyway!
Some days I find my life so busy, that it feels I hardly have time to take a breath. Maybe that is why, despite the pain and the humiliation of how slow I am, I am beginning to enjoy my runs. It is slowly becoming my sanity time...to pray and just have a small window of time where I am not being beckoned by others.
Sanity time is a good thing!
Tuesday May 10th.
Today is weigh in day......uuuggghhh. Part of this journey for me is hopefully to lose weight. I have to admit, at times I obsess over the scale. So I have put a rule in place to weigh myself in once a week. I was feeling good about things, I got 5 days of running in (goal is 6), I had practiced portion control, and drank a lot of water. I have found that I am TERRIBLE at dieting. I am learning ways to change my eating though. Here are some things I've done this week that have helped me to not feel like I was dieting. I drink a full glass of water before each meal.....helps me to feel fuller. I have also eliminated drinking any calories. I only drink water....8-12 glasses a day. I LOVE bread! I eat sandwiches like crazy, so I switched to a 12 grain light bread....immediately cutting my calories in half with each sandwich. I also switched from real butter to whipped butter (half the calories) or butter spray....no calories! I stopped using the light ranch, and switched to the Ranch dressing spray. I know if I can get rid of ranch dressing, anyone can. I used to transform my lovely vegetables in my salad into, Ranch soup. The one thing I have found I can't give up is cheese. It is my favorite food, so I just weigh it and allow my self only 2 oz., instead of half a block (portion control). I also eat two Slim fast bars a day. They taste like candy, and are 100 calories. It helps me feel like I am not going without. So when I stepped on the scale this morning, my hope was to lose 2 lbs. My goal is 2lb a week, that is what they say is healthy weight loss. I step on the scale, and I lost 3 lbs! YAY!!!! I was so excited. So it was a good day.......
Wednesday May 11th
I was REALLY tired this morning. I had a hard time getting out of bed. I did not want to run at all! I think I hit snooze twice already, and was contemplating not getting up. I said a prayer, and God gave me the will to drag my weary butt out of bed. I usually walk a 5 minute warm-up before I go for a run, today I looked at my watch and realized I was still walking 8 minutes in. I knew I had to start running, so I told myself just to go for getting 15 minutes in. So I start running. My legs were heavy and it felt almost like I was running in place. I could just envision myself running through wet cement. With each step my legs seemed to get heavier and heavier. I shook it off, and started in with my prayers. The next time I looked at my watch I was 13 minutes into my run, and I knew that I could go the full 20 minutes. I know I ran a slower pace than normal, because I did not make it as far in my route around the neighborhood. I did make the time limit though, and I am happy with that. There would have been times in the past where I would have just stopped. No matter how tired and icky I felt, I kept going. So I consider today a victory! Praise God!
Thurs May 12.
I took the day off
Friday May 13th.
When I started on my run today, I lifted up my heavy heart in prayer. I reflected on how I was feeling on Wed. and Thurs. I have had a tough situation arise for me personally. Usually when I am faced with stress, I go into survival mode. I react kinda like a turtle....I stop what I am doing and tuck myself safely into my shell. Survival mode for me means doing what needs to be done, but retreating from all other things that take my energy, so I can focus on the "crisis". I just kept saying to God, I am sorry I don't feel it with my heart, but my head is choosing to trust in you, and praise you in this storm. As I ran, and as I prayed, I felt the burden begin to lift. It is amazing, I am still facing the same situation, the same unknowns (which I really despise), but I am feeling better. I am a person who is usually ruled by my heart. I love deeply, I hurt deeply, I laugh from deep within my soul, and I get angry with every fiber of my being. But here I am, making a decision with my head, taking out the feelings, and relying on the facts (That I can always trust in Jesus), and I feel better! I love it! I know that feeling things so deeply, and the compassion I feel for others is a gift, but I realize now, that when those "feelings" start bringing me down, that clinging to the facts, That Jesus loves me, and I can trust him, can bring me back up. I ended my run with immense joy in my heart. I am so thankful for the love of my Savior!