Today was what Steve would call a "victory day". I did not want to go for a run at ALL! I only got three hours of sleep, because my youngest (age almost 2) was up a good share of the night. We have strep throat going through our house. When you have four kids, and run an in-home daycare theses things seem to spread quickly....despite my never ending efforts to sanitize and disinfect!
I also got some information today that put me in my "stress zone." One of the things I have learned about myself over the years is that not only do I love food, I am a total emotional eater. When you add together stress and exhaustion, I wanted to curl up on the couch, watch a movie, drink A&W root beer, and eat popcorn and Reese's peanut butter cups.....aaahhhhh comfort food.
I said a prayer, resisted the temptation, and headed for the track! The good thing about running when I am stressed out is that I don't focus on the physical pain near as much. I spent most of my run tonight praying and processing unwanted information. My 20 minutes seemed to go by quickly as I prayed and had a heart to heart with the big man upstairs! My emotions ranged from anger, frustration, to acceptances and then finally some peace, as I placed all of it in his hands. Now this may sound simple, but for me it is not. I don't trust easily, yes even God. As silly as that sounds to say, I've spent my life giving/caring and loving others, yet not trusting many to do the same for me.
The reason I have started this blog, is because I feel that the Holy spirit has prompted me to do so. I still am a little shocked that I am typing all this stuff for others to see. Making my self vulnerable in such a public manner in my mind is well, a little insane! However, I feel God is calling me to something ( no idea yet what it is), and somehow this will help me get there.
So I keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other.....Learning how to trust.