Thursday, May 5, 2011

Victory Day! Day 3

Today was what Steve would call a "victory day".  I did not want to go for a run at ALL!  I only got three hours of sleep, because my youngest (age almost 2) was up a good share of the night.  We have strep throat going through our house.  When you have four kids, and run an in-home daycare theses things seem to spread quickly....despite my never ending efforts to sanitize and disinfect!

I also got some information today that put me in my "stress zone."  One of the things I have learned about myself over the years is that not only do I love food,  I am a total emotional eater.  When you add together stress and exhaustion,  I wanted to curl up on the couch, watch a movie, drink A&W root beer, and eat popcorn and Reese's peanut butter cups.....aaahhhhh comfort food.

I said a prayer, resisted the temptation, and headed for the track!  The good thing about running when I am stressed out is that I don't focus on the physical pain  near as much.  I spent most of my run tonight praying and processing unwanted information.  My 20 minutes seemed to go by quickly as I prayed and had a heart to heart with the big man upstairs!  My emotions ranged from anger, frustration, to acceptances and then finally some peace, as I placed all of it in his hands.  Now this may sound simple, but for me it is not.  I don't trust easily, yes even God.  As silly as that sounds to say,  I've spent my life giving/caring and loving others,  yet not trusting many to do the same for me. 

The reason I have started this blog, is because I feel that the Holy spirit has prompted me to do so.  I still am a little shocked that I am typing all this stuff for others to see.  Making my self vulnerable in such a public manner in my mind is well, a little insane! However, I feel God is calling me to something ( no idea yet what it is), and somehow this will help me get there.

So I keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other.....Learning how to trust.

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