I can't even describe the strange mix of emotions I am having! I go from being Super pumped up, to completely scared out of my mind, to confident that I've done the training and I'll be able to finish the half-marathon on Saturday. I've been having the weirdest dreams. I feel I have to Clarify this, I have always been a person who learns more about my emotional state from my dreams than any where else. The dreams I have had in my lifetime have been something that a science-fiction guru could not come up with....it is some of the most entertaining "movies" I've seen. That is always how my dreams play out....like I'm watching a movie. The last three nights I have had dreams pertaining to running my first half-marathon....in the first one, it was extremely hot, and we were running along a river. I was so upset because there was no drink stations..... in my dream I'm yelling I need a drink, for the Love of God why isn't there any drink stations! At this moment, other members of the LIFE runners team come running by me, almost flying at me, I felt like I had to duck and move out of the way! Then Rob Rysavy (one of the LIFE runners Leaders) Goes speeding by me and does a triple flip into the river..... Random I know! Then I'm on the wrong path, and I'm yelling for Steve to help me, and he tells me you got this, suck it up! When I woke up, my body was in a position like I was running. In another dream, I was running along, and I knew I was dreaming, but I was happy because I was running, and then I began to wonder if your running in your sleep, if your brain could actually process that as exercise, and then I felt completely convinced in my dream, that I was burning calories, because I was dreaming about running.....Oh how I wish that were true!
Needless to say, obviously the marathon is on the forefront of my mind! The first dream tells me, I'm anxious because it is a new course, I don't know where I will be at each mile. In my training if Steve would try and switch up a course on me, I would about panic. I felt the need to know exactly where I was, and how far until the next mile, and so on. Having no clue, but following the path is going to be extremely challenging for me. As far as all the LIFE runners speeding by me, I think that is my fear of being the slowest, and as far as Rob jumping in a river..... I have no clue! Steve telling me I got this and to suck it up, is really me. Since he is the closest person in the world to me, he represented me, and my determination to finish this no matter what! I have been really nervous about getting sick. All my daycare kids have a cold right now. Brianna my oldest, has bronchitis, and I seem to be very susceptible to that. I have had it once each year the last three winters. I have not been feeling the best. Last week, I missed three days of running with suspected Kidney Stones. I didn't go to the doctor for a few days, because I am extremely stubborn, and by time I went she thought I probably passed them, due to the fact that I drink so much water. But she guessed that was probably what was going on based on the symptoms I described. I woke up yesterday congested, and this morning with sore throat.
We are leaving tomorrow night to SF, and then Thursday to Kansas City. I am excited, one of the many emotions I am experiencing! Please pray for me. In the end, I know I will do this, because it is not about me, it is about serving my Lord, and fighting for the unborn. I just have to sort through all my very Human emotions, set them aside, and keep my eyes focused on Christ.