Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Redemptive Running

Monday June 6Th

I decided to up my time to 25 minutes of running straight.  My experience in my 5k on Saturday gave me the confidence I needed to  know that I could push through the pain, and not get injured. I am still running on the track this week.  So I arrive, and I start my prayers.  I have had so many things on my heart to pray for lately, that I am never quite sure what to pray for.  So I asked that the prayers I said today be lifted up for whoever, or wherever they were most needed today.  There is something so freeing about praying that way.  It was a good day for redemptive running.  What I mean by that is that I am able to offer up the pain and burning I feel as a prayer for someone/something.  I have so much pain in my legs today, and they are just heavy.  The whole 25 minutes was torture.  I have not always been able to understand that by offering my suffering up as a prayer I could truly help others.  There was a time in my life,  not that long ago actually, that I often told God, "Haven't I had enough?"  I have often felt my experiences as a child, should somehow exempt me from to much more suffering!  I had embraced those trials, and learned from them.  I have forgiven those who hurt me so deeply as a child, so I thought  I should be done.... right?  I have also had moments of shaking my fist at God.  " Why on earth, would you allow me to feel things so deeply!"  I have truly felt the pain of the people around me.  Often times when someone is hurting or scared, or lonely,  my heart is breaking right along with theirs.  There was a time when I had hardened my heart, and became angry, because I couldn't handle seeing/feeling the hurt and pain of those around me.  However, by doing that I stopped feeling the love and joy as well.  I am learning to embrace my gift of compassion/empathy.  For many years I often joked it was a curse.  I am realizing however, that instead of being overcome by that pain and sadness, which is often easy to do,  I can embrace it, and give it up in prayer.  As I have learned to do this, the freedom I am beginning to find is amazing!  I have begun to experience so much joy.  God is also teaching me that by being vulnerable with others, and showing my brokenness, and sharing how the Grace/mercy and love of God has saved me from so much,  I am somehow able to point them in the direction of the truth.  Jesus Christ.  It is so humbling to me.  I have always been such a proud person, never really wanting anyone to know my suffering/brokenness.  I felt that somehow that made me a weak person.  I was so wrong.  I am strong, only because I have Jesus on my side. I remember my husband and brother-in-law (coach Pat)  talking about offering up their suffering during their running as a prayer.  I remember thinking "I have had enough suffering, I don't need to go run to feel pain....You are both NUTS!  Once again I was wrong.  Redemptive running (as they call it)  is helping me to find true peace in my life.   God is soooooooo Good!

Tuesday June 7th.

I did not get out to run today. My older three kids are at Camp Castle (Grandma Kathy's and Papa Joe's) house for ten days.  So last night Steve, Sarah and I went with a couple of friends canoeing down otter tail river. I was so nervous at first.  I had never been canoeing, and I had my busy two year old with me.  We all had life vest on, but I did not want to tip.  I can say this, I think every married couple should go canoeing together.  Steve was the steering guy, and I found myself often questioning his ability.  The canoe would turn one way, and I'd be stating emphatically we were going the wrong way!  Steve would calmly tell me he got it, and not to worry.  I know if Sarah wouldn't have been with, I would have been fine, but when the kids are around it is like my danger meter goes into overdrive.  I can suddenly see every possible thing that could go wrong, and somehow hurt the kids.  It's funny really, because before I had kids I was the one constantly scaring Steve.  I had a very adventurous spirit.  I still do, but only when the kids are not around.  Anyway, as we learned how to navigate the river(which was flowing very slow by the way)  I began to relax and truly enjoy the beauty around me.  It was so peaceful and relaxing.  We canoed for about an hour and a half, and then went and grabbed a bite at Zorbas.  Zorbas is an awesome restaurant on otter tail Lake.  We sat out on the deck.  The gorgeous lake right there.  We had good food and great conversation!  Sarah was a little trooper.   By time we got home and I layed down it was midnight.  I knew I would not get up to run this morning, but it was worth it.  I had so much fun last night!

Wed. June 8th,

Thursday June 9th

Today was another good day of running.  I felt good, my shins felt good.  I prayed a lot for my dad today.  His surgery to remove the tumor and his salivary gland is next Thursday. I'm trying hard not to be nervous.  I do worry for him though.  He already has so many health problems anyway,  that I don't want to see any more added issues.  I am taking comfort that my dad has started going to church again for the first time in many years.  I also have had good phone conversations with him, and actually prayed with him on the phone.  He wouldn't have always been open to that.  He is also calling and asking me a lot more faith questions, which I find very comforting.  So I know my prayers are working.  Of course I have prayed that he doesn't have cancer, but a lot of my prayers have been focused on his spiritual life, and that he would find God in all of this, and I think he is.  I find that encouraging.  So I ask any of you out there reading this to keep my dad in your prayers as well.  His name is Lee, and It would mean a great deal to me if you would cover him and my family in prayers at this time.   Thank you!

Friday June 10th

Today I prayed for my big brother Rob as I ran.  It is his Birthday today.  As I ran and prayed I remembered the times in my life that Rob has been there for me.  He comes across as this gruff crabby redneck, but he has a very tender heart.  I remembered the infamous story of the time I fell out of the car when I was four.  We had a really old junker, and it had this problem of the door flying open when you hit bumps.  Well we went over a bump and the door opened.  I went to grab the door, and out I went!  I busted up my knee pretty good, had to go get stitches.  All I could think of was catching the car.  I was afraid they were not going to know I fell out, and leave me.  So I got up and started running after the car.  Meanwhile in the car,  my brother was rocking back and forth crying my Tina, my Tina.  There have been so many times that Rob has teased me, beat on me, and fought with me, as we were growing up.  However, there are many more times that he looked out for me, cared for me, and loved me.  I remember when I left for college, I could not go with out a lesson in self-defense..... Rob Corbin style!  So today I give thanks for a great big brother.   I love you Robby!!!!

Saturday June 11th

I had every intention of running today.  I got four days in, and wanted to get 5 days in.  I did not get out to run, but I am counting today as a cross training day!  Steve and I, with the help of some great friends, redid the kids sandbox/play area.  We had a whole dump truck load of sand delivered, and I tell you shoveling sand is hard work!  We got done with that, and spent the entire day working outside.  The kids are still at Camp Castle, so we just had Sarah, and she worked right along side of us.  I weeded while Steve mowed.  We have and acre and  a half, and there is always plenty of work to do.  I hauled branches and weed up and down the steep hill that is part of our yard.  I also hauled about 500lbs of landscaping rock, and replenished the areas around the house.  I worked from 9 am  until 7pm without a break.  Every muscle in my body is sore, and I got good cardio in, because when you are carrying branches and stuff down the big hill, and then a 35 lb. two year old up the hill you get quite the work out in.  So this week I have gotten 4 days of running, and 1 cross training day in.   That is the best I've done in two weeks!  We will see what tomorrow brings!

Sunday June 12th.

I get my kids back today!!!   I have to admit the first couple days I enjoyed the break, but  by day four I was really missing my kids!  It has been ten days, and after church we will be meeting Steve's parents half way.  I am very excited to see them.  So I got my kids and by time we get home it is 5pm.....the house needs to be cleaned, kids unpacked, and grocery's gotten.  Steve had to spray the yard, so he could not help.  So I get to work, get the house done, menus planned grocery list made, went grocery shopping and got home at 9pm.  I had every intention of running when I got home, however Steve had built a bonfire and wanted to haul a bunch of HUGE tree branches we had trimmed down the big hill to the burn pile.  So after the grocery's are put away and Sarah put to bed, the three oldest and I head out to haul branches.  For 45 min. I was hauling branches, and 5 gallon pals of water down to the burn pile.  So needless  to say I did not go for a run.  I finally got to go to bed at 1030, and I was completely shot.   So 5 days over all!  I will try to get back up to six next week.

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