Discouragement will not prevail

Sunday May 15 Speed is my friend

I was feeling pretty good today.  After such a great run yesterday, I was feeling high on life!  I got up to run before church.  I headed out, and started in on my prayers.  I was running a long, really didn't have any pain, and my breathing was at a comfortable tempo.  I was about half way through my course around the neighborhood, and I noticed I made it to this point in my run quicker than ever before.  Needless to say I got pretty excited....could I actually be getting faster?  YIPPPEEEE!  I tried not to focus on my pace and focus back on my prayers.  It wasn't easy,  the competitor in me was like maybe if I keep going a little faster, I could blow past my normal point of finishing.  Then the cautious side of my brain kicked in, "I shouldn't push it to hard....I don't want to injure myself. and back and forth I went.  I finally was able to snap out of my internal argument, and focus back on my prayers and just run.  When I was about a hundred yards out, I looked down at my watch, and realized I was about 2 and 1/2 min ahead of where I normally was.  I  kept my pace steady and kept going, right past my normal stopping point.  I have to be honest,  I was smiling!  I really truly enjoyed going faster than before.  I kicked it in hard the last 30 seconds, and ran probably about a 1/4 of a mile more than I normally did.  I don't know how to explain it, but I love the feeling I get when I've pushed myself to a knew level.  I love knowing I've pushed through my earlier barriers.  It is truly exhilarating! All this excitement over a quarter of a mile!  Yes it is the little things in life that make me happy! I enjoyed my walk home (5min cool down)!  What a great day!

Monday May 16th

When the alarm went off this morning..... I was still exhausted.  I have not been sleeping well the last week or so.  For whatever reason I wake up every hour on the hour!  I toss and turn and just can not seem to get comfortable.   I really did not want to get up, but after hitting snooze a couple of times,  I rolled out of bed.  I ran in my neighborhood again, for the sake of time.   As I was running today, I felt no where near as good as yesterday.  My legs were heavy, and my shin was hurting, not bad, but hurting.  I was a little surprised by that because my right shin hasn't hurt in over a week, and my left one hadn't hurt for at least a couple days. I started on my warm-up walk and was feeling very lethargic!  When it came time to start jogging, it took every fiber of my being to get myself to pick up the pace.  I started my prayers and slowly was able to forget about my protesting body.  I was hoping to up my time up to 25 min. a day this week, but decided with the way I was feeling not to.  I did get my full  twenty minutes in though.  Today was one of those days where I felt like I was in the trenches.  No major spiritual inspiration, no good pace, and my body felt like it was about to go on strike.  I did it though, and I just have to find my inspiration in that.

Tues May 17th Weigh in day

 I woke this morning feeling slightly more rested than yesterday.  I went to the track today, since I was having some pain in my shin, I figured I better run on a flat surface today.  When I arrived at the track their was a baby/young deer trapped in a fenced area right next to the track.  He entered into this area from an open gate on the other side of the track, and must have forgot how he got in.  The poor little thing was jumping into the fences and trying to get free.  I could see it knocking itself to the ground every time it would jump into the fence.  My heart just broke for the poor baby.  I had to help, but wasn't sure how.  I realized if I could chase him towards the open gate, he could run free.  I didn't want to just jump the fence, and get my self trapped between the fence and a freaked out deer.  So I wandered around and was able to find someone who worked at the school.  He unlocked the gate, and we chased the deer towards the open gate, and away he went!  I was happy to set the sweet thing free.  However, that took about 15 minutes away from my running time, and with a tight morning schedule, I knew I had to not run as long as normal.  I did run for about 10 minutes, and then took what extra time I had left to stretch really good.  I was thinking that maybe that is why I was so sore yesterday, I did not stretch the best on Sunday.  I also knew when I got home, I had to face the scale.  So I finished stretching and headed home.  I get on the scale hoping for a two pound weight loss, and was disappointed.  I lost 1 pound this week.   I tried to find comfort in the fact that I lost weight, but I was hoping for more.  It is times like these that I am so glad that I am running for more than just weight loss.  I would be quite frustrated if that was the only reason I was running.  However, knowing that my prayers and running could save an innocent baby, helps put it in perspective for me.

Wed May 18th

I took today off.  I had my first book club mtg last night, and it was a blast!  I have such a wonderful group of ladies, and we had such a great discussion.  The book we read was Heaven is for real, by Todd Burpo.  It was a great book, and a wonderful night of faith sharing.  Everyone left about 930pm, and then I had clean-up.  I didn't get to bed until close to 11, and knew that there was no way I would get out of bed.  So I decided Wed would be my day off.

Thurs. May 19th.

I felt much better this morning, when I got up.  The day of rest did my weary body good.  My shin was feeling pretty good this morning, but I decided to go to the track anyway.  I did my warm-up, and then started on my way.  My prayers came easy this morning. I didn't have much trouble with being distracted in my prayers, I always love days when I don't have to battle to focus on them.  I felt good, and I was running along at a good pace, faster than normal, and it felt really good.  There is something about running on a track for me.  I love the smell, I love the feel of it, I just love it!  I think it is nostalgic for me of the "glory days."  Anyway,  I was plugging along and  when I looked at my watch, I saw I was running at close to a ten minute mile pace (which for me is good right now)  I knew I had 400m left to reach two mile in twenty minutes.  The problem was I had a little less than two minutes left.  Now if someone would have told the younger me, that I would one day think that a two minute quarter was fast..... I would have laughed at them.   However, now I know for me that is fast......no more 55 second quarters for me.  I made the decision to give it my all.  I took off as fast as I could, only thinking of the time on my watch and the distance to the finish line.  At about the two hundred meter point I was feeling pretty winded, but I knew I only had 220 m left.  I pushed on, and the 100m mark,  I pulled out what my husband has termed as the "Corbin Kick" Corbin is my maiden name, and Steve always loved watching me run track in high-school, and he seemed to be tickled by my kick at the end of my races.  I love finishing strong....I always have.  There is no better feeling than pushing it and putting it all out there just to finish strong.  It is so empowering!  I looked at my watch as I crossed the finish line.....I DID IT!!!   YAY!!!   
Even though I was completely winded during my cool down lap, I know I had a cheesy grin plastered on my face.  If there had been any bystanders, they probably would have thought I was a little coo-coo, but I was happy.

Friday May 20th

Another tough day.....hard to get out of bed, and get going, but my "victory" at the track inspired me to get out and go.  I ran in the neighborhood today.  I hit snooze one to many times to make it to the track, and my shin was not feeling to bad.  I start on my run and start in on my prayers.  At first my left shin, and my left knee hurt, but as I ran they warmed up.  I checked my watch at the mid-point in my neighborhood loop, and noticed that once again I was ahead of schedule...... "I'm on a roll!"  I thought. At this point, I'm getting all jazzed up again.  The competitive juices are flowing, and I'm thinking, maybe i can beat my last faster stopping point 100m.  I had at that moment set the goal, and picked up my pace a little.  As I approach the original stopping point,  I smile....knowing that I am kicking my own butt!  I love it!  As I blow by the second stopping point, by utilizing the "Corbin kick"  I smile knowing that I will make my goal of stopping  100m past the last point.  As I cross my imaginary finish line, and start my cool down I notice my shin is a little sore again....I thought  " I'll have to be sure to ice that when I get home."  I get home and get the kids of to school, and take the time to ice my shin before the daycare kids come.  I noticed as the day progressed that I would get these weird shooting pains through my shin.  That was odd, because usually it only hurts when I run.  I took Ibuprofen twice today.....I think I might have pushed a little too hard.  This is something that I have always struggled with..... my competitive nature takes over, and I don't really pay attention to any pain in my body.  Let's hope I didn't really hurt myself.

Sat. May 21st.

I LOVE sleeping in on Saturdays.  Of course sleeping in for me is 8am.  I still enjoy it none the less.  I got up to get the kids breakfast, and noticed that when I put weight on my left leg, there was a considerable amount of pain in my shin, and my knee.  Enough pain that I was limping.  I was going to attempt a twenty minute run today, so I took some Ibuprofen, and Iced my shin right away.  It seemed to get better for about an hour.  I decided that I should probably rest today.  The last thing I need to do is get myself out of commission.  I have to be honest though,  it is really discouraging for me.  I finally feel like I am making progress.  I finally am starting to remember why I love to be a competitor, and I hurt myself!  I could SCREAM!!!!!


Sun May 22nd.

I woke up early this morning.  Sarah(2) was up during the night, and I realized we were out of milk.  I knew I would have to get to the store and get some so the kids could eat before church.  I put on my running shoes, and headed out to the store.  I realized while I was shopping that my shin seemed to be in less pain when I had my shoes on. I hope that is a good sign.  I get home get kids breakfast, get them ready for church, hurry up and get myself ready for church, and we head out the door.   I'm wearing heels, and as I'm walking to the car I notice I can't walk without limping!  Great!  Church went good, and then we get home.  I just know that with the pain I am in that I can't run again today.  That means I have taken three days off this week.  I start freaking out, thinking "I'm gonna lose everything I worked so hard for."  I wanted to run a 5k on June 3rd here in Fergus, but now that is not looking likely.  I,m trying really hard not to be discouraged.  I decide to call my other  Coach.  Steve is my immediate coach,  I run my daily thoughts/concerns and plans by him.  My brother-in-law Pat is my Coach/Coach.  He is a little more objective and can help me pull back when I need to.  We put together a game plan.  I will continue the Ice/Ibuprofen regimen, and I will change two of my running days to cross training. (Biking)  I guess I was supposed to be only running 5 days a week and doing 1 cross training day already.....OOOPS.  I was running six days a week.  So for the next couple weeks or until this pain lets up.  I will be doing 4 days of running and two of cross training.  I feel better after having a game plan.  At least I know I am not completely out of commission.  It is times like this when I remember why I named my blog "I am more."  I am more than a number on the scale, or an injured player, or a slow, overweight women.  I am God's child.  He loves me, and despite these minor set backs,  I will prevail!  Because I am doing this through Christ.  It is not about me,  it is about what I can do in his name, for him. 
So, tomorrow I embark on the next phase......cross training and healing.  I ask for your prayers, that I may heal from this injury in a timely manner, and get back on track.....For God's Glory, not my own.